This is such a beautiful article I had to pass it on.
Voicing the Gift
Showing posts with label Asperger's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Asperger's. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Friday, January 28, 2011
Non diagnosis
My grandson who is 2/3 of the way through the diagnosis process, has been labeled ADHD. This is a non-active, mostly very calm child who loves to sit in front of a computer every day. or, if sent to his room, is capable of sitting there, staring at the wall for an hour. So I just don't get the ADHD thing.
My daughter has decided to not go through with this process, at least not with these doctors. She's seeing these particular doctors because her insurance is paying for it. But her autistic daughter sees an excellent doctor, who we all feel is more capable of understanding just where my grandson lies on the spectrum or off it. Hopefully he will be going there soon, so here too, we are back at the beginning.
He had a meltdown day a couple of days ago. He pretty much raged all day, which is the worst it's been so far. I'm thinking the stress of daddy's deployment is starting to show. He's the oldest child, the only boy, and typically very helpful. Sometimes I think he feels too much responsibility.
He usually enjoys being helpful. He hogs being helpful, not wanting his younger sister in on the game. But it was a simple request that set him off this time, and he was out of sorts until bedtime. He's ten. I'm afraid growing through the teen years may turn out to be tough for him.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
My daughter has decided to not go through with this process, at least not with these doctors. She's seeing these particular doctors because her insurance is paying for it. But her autistic daughter sees an excellent doctor, who we all feel is more capable of understanding just where my grandson lies on the spectrum or off it. Hopefully he will be going there soon, so here too, we are back at the beginning.
He had a meltdown day a couple of days ago. He pretty much raged all day, which is the worst it's been so far. I'm thinking the stress of daddy's deployment is starting to show. He's the oldest child, the only boy, and typically very helpful. Sometimes I think he feels too much responsibility.
He usually enjoys being helpful. He hogs being helpful, not wanting his younger sister in on the game. But it was a simple request that set him off this time, and he was out of sorts until bedtime. He's ten. I'm afraid growing through the teen years may turn out to be tough for him.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Evaluation #1
Yesterday was my grandson's first evaluation. It lasted about an hour and a half to two hours, and the doctor's conclusion is ADHD and sensory integration disorder. He has a further evaluation coming up, so we'll see what they say.
Personally, I don't see the ADHD. This is not a hyperactive child. At all. I've taught quite a few hyperactive children, and maybe they were at one extreme or something, but my grandson mostly just wants to stay at home on the computer. He doesn't move fast. I would put him on the hypoactive end of the spectrum.
The sensory integration diagnosis is no surprise at all. He has noise and light sensitivities for sure.
Yesterday was a difficult day for many of us in the family. Too much going on, surprise (to me)decisions made, plans not working out.
Oh, and in the midst of it I realized that a certain little boy's mom is probably an Aspie too. Quite a few signs, but when she was growing up, this wasn't even on the radar. Never a 'normal' child. Obsessed with her books, still a huge fantasy novel reader. Physically a little out of sync, difficulty making friends, naively trusting people when she got older. Averting eyes frequently during conversations. And more.
I certainly do wish that this had been more widely known decades ago.
Personally, I don't see the ADHD. This is not a hyperactive child. At all. I've taught quite a few hyperactive children, and maybe they were at one extreme or something, but my grandson mostly just wants to stay at home on the computer. He doesn't move fast. I would put him on the hypoactive end of the spectrum.
The sensory integration diagnosis is no surprise at all. He has noise and light sensitivities for sure.
Yesterday was a difficult day for many of us in the family. Too much going on, surprise (to me)decisions made, plans not working out.
Oh, and in the midst of it I realized that a certain little boy's mom is probably an Aspie too. Quite a few signs, but when she was growing up, this wasn't even on the radar. Never a 'normal' child. Obsessed with her books, still a huge fantasy novel reader. Physically a little out of sync, difficulty making friends, naively trusting people when she got older. Averting eyes frequently during conversations. And more.
I certainly do wish that this had been more widely known decades ago.
Monday, November 22, 2010
What a Weekend
What a whirlwind this weekend has been! Daughter #3 headed off to Japan on Friday to see her dh, so her three children are living here with us this week (that's in addition to the dil and grandbaby already visiting!). Friday night I had a wedding rehearsal; Saturday was the wedding - oh, so beautiful - and reception. Today was a large piano recital. By the time all of that was over, it's time to get home, make supper, get everyone bathed and ready for Monday morning!
My grandson's developmental differences are now seeming very obvious to me, especially in a setting like the recital today. He played his piece very, very well, but his demeanor and behavior during the long wait before and after he performed stood out to me as being not that of a 10 year old. Some of it was pretty subtle, some not. But oh, he has a good heart! Music is not his passion, but he seems to enjoy it well enough and does well. His passion is trains. He is now regretting giving up his large collection of Thomas trains. I was very surprised when he did it, and I'm not sure he wasn't yielding to some pressure from his parents to give up childish things. I'm thinking some more grown-up train sets need to be part of his Christmas this year.
His evaluation has been delayed due to his mom's trip - it's rescheduled for next week.
On a side note, I have discovered that my autistic granddaughter's psychiatrist is probably the most knowledgeable in the state about autism and related issues. I'm glad to know it, since my grandson will most likely be his patient as well.
I know that for many who get a diagnosis, it's a life-shattering revelation, but for us, it's more of a clarification. It gives us an explanation for all the little oddities we've observed but didn't have a good explanation for. My heart hurts a bit for him because he'll have some struggles I wish he didn't have to face, but I'm also very encouraged to know that many adult Aspies live full, happy lives and have a lot to contribute to the world. I wish we'd known sooner, but finding out now is better than not knowing. At least we can take appropriate steps to help now, before he's a teen.
It's also helping things around here. With all the reading and discussing I've been doing regarding Aspergers, I'm certainly learning to be more patient with my (almost certainly) Aspie husband.
My grandson's developmental differences are now seeming very obvious to me, especially in a setting like the recital today. He played his piece very, very well, but his demeanor and behavior during the long wait before and after he performed stood out to me as being not that of a 10 year old. Some of it was pretty subtle, some not. But oh, he has a good heart! Music is not his passion, but he seems to enjoy it well enough and does well. His passion is trains. He is now regretting giving up his large collection of Thomas trains. I was very surprised when he did it, and I'm not sure he wasn't yielding to some pressure from his parents to give up childish things. I'm thinking some more grown-up train sets need to be part of his Christmas this year.
His evaluation has been delayed due to his mom's trip - it's rescheduled for next week.
On a side note, I have discovered that my autistic granddaughter's psychiatrist is probably the most knowledgeable in the state about autism and related issues. I'm glad to know it, since my grandson will most likely be his patient as well.
I know that for many who get a diagnosis, it's a life-shattering revelation, but for us, it's more of a clarification. It gives us an explanation for all the little oddities we've observed but didn't have a good explanation for. My heart hurts a bit for him because he'll have some struggles I wish he didn't have to face, but I'm also very encouraged to know that many adult Aspies live full, happy lives and have a lot to contribute to the world. I wish we'd known sooner, but finding out now is better than not knowing. At least we can take appropriate steps to help now, before he's a teen.
It's also helping things around here. With all the reading and discussing I've been doing regarding Aspergers, I'm certainly learning to be more patient with my (almost certainly) Aspie husband.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Discovery
While I was explaining the symptoms of Asperger's to my husband, he said something to the effect of "I think I have that." I was floored. Not that I didn't see him in the symptoms, but I was floored that he saw himself in them. I've always known he had quite a few "quirks," but I had never put them together as being related or part of a larger syndrome until this whole topic came up in relation to our grandson.
Here are a few of my husband's reactions that fit:
he is very uncomfortable in group settings
he doesn't like to meet new people
he gets a headache and gets very tired and stressed by fluorescent lights
he sometimes talks on and on even though the rest of us lost interest 5 minutes ago
he remembers long lists of which actors were in which movies
he is sometimes rather rude but thinks he is just being honest
he sometimes seems to be uncaring and distant, even though he is a very caring, loyal person in reality
he can play Scrabble on his iPad the whole day, and is very focused on improving his score
he is always very concerned with the details of how planned events will unfold
he has a certain level of physical clumsiness, or, more accurately, a lack of finesse when it comes to touch and other people - things like patting babies just a little too hard, when he means to be gentle
As I learn more about Asperger's, lightbulbs are going on in my mind in relation to my husband. Why he reacted a certain way, how he could have said what he said, why he sometimes seems so removed from family life - there is a long list of things that now all make sense.
He has not been professionally evaluated, and I'm pretty sure he has not interest in doing that (he has a strong dislike for visiting any kind of doctor). But the indications are pretty strong, at least in my mind, and I'm inclined to think he's right, especially since he saw himself fitting the pattern so readily. I think it is almost a relief for both of us because it gives us both a better understanding of his past, our past together, and our ongoing relationship.
Here are a few of my husband's reactions that fit:
he is very uncomfortable in group settings
he doesn't like to meet new people
he gets a headache and gets very tired and stressed by fluorescent lights
he sometimes talks on and on even though the rest of us lost interest 5 minutes ago
he remembers long lists of which actors were in which movies
he is sometimes rather rude but thinks he is just being honest
he sometimes seems to be uncaring and distant, even though he is a very caring, loyal person in reality
he can play Scrabble on his iPad the whole day, and is very focused on improving his score
he is always very concerned with the details of how planned events will unfold
he has a certain level of physical clumsiness, or, more accurately, a lack of finesse when it comes to touch and other people - things like patting babies just a little too hard, when he means to be gentle
As I learn more about Asperger's, lightbulbs are going on in my mind in relation to my husband. Why he reacted a certain way, how he could have said what he said, why he sometimes seems so removed from family life - there is a long list of things that now all make sense.
He has not been professionally evaluated, and I'm pretty sure he has not interest in doing that (he has a strong dislike for visiting any kind of doctor). But the indications are pretty strong, at least in my mind, and I'm inclined to think he's right, especially since he saw himself fitting the pattern so readily. I think it is almost a relief for both of us because it gives us both a better understanding of his past, our past together, and our ongoing relationship.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Beginnings
We are about to start a new journey. First, a little background. My daughter and son-in-law have a special needs child, their youngest. She has some profound needs and developmental delays, including an autism diagnosis. I'll write about her another day. Perhaps because of her needs being so obvious, we may have missed signs of Aspergers in the oldest, who is now 10.
He stutters, and it isn't improving, so they took him to a speech therapist. In the course of evaluating him, they began to suspect Aspergers. Since we are always hungry for information, we checked the symptoms, and, yep, it looks like a distinct possibility. He's very bright, he's advanced in math and becoming a good reader as well, though that has been late in coming. He has been almost entirely home schooled, and his only experience with a regular school setting was a huge disaster.
The interesting thing is that now that this has been brought to our attention, we have realized that many of these traits are present in other members of the family. We've always been fine with being a little different, out of the norm. And of course "normal" is such a subjective term. So some of these little quirks have always been viewed as just quirks.
So as we explore this new situation, I'll be sharing it here. Come along for the ride.
For information on Aspergers:
http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/tc/aspergers-syndrome-symptoms
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/aspergers-syndrome/DS00551/DSECTION=symptoms
He stutters, and it isn't improving, so they took him to a speech therapist. In the course of evaluating him, they began to suspect Aspergers. Since we are always hungry for information, we checked the symptoms, and, yep, it looks like a distinct possibility. He's very bright, he's advanced in math and becoming a good reader as well, though that has been late in coming. He has been almost entirely home schooled, and his only experience with a regular school setting was a huge disaster.
The interesting thing is that now that this has been brought to our attention, we have realized that many of these traits are present in other members of the family. We've always been fine with being a little different, out of the norm. And of course "normal" is such a subjective term. So some of these little quirks have always been viewed as just quirks.
So as we explore this new situation, I'll be sharing it here. Come along for the ride.
For information on Aspergers:
http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/tc/aspergers-syndrome-symptoms
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/aspergers-syndrome/DS00551/DSECTION=symptoms
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