Discovery

While I was explaining the symptoms of Asperger's to my husband, he said something to the effect of "I think I have that." I was floored. Not that I didn't see him in the symptoms, but I was floored that he saw himself in them. I've always known he had quite a few "quirks," but I had never put them together as being related or part of a larger syndrome until this whole topic came up in relation to our grandson.

Here are a few of my husband's reactions that fit:

he is very uncomfortable in group settings
he doesn't like to meet new people
he gets a headache and gets very tired and stressed by fluorescent lights
he sometimes talks on and on even though the rest of us lost interest 5 minutes ago
he remembers long lists of which actors were in which movies
he is sometimes rather rude but thinks he is just being honest
he sometimes seems to be uncaring and distant, even though he is a very caring, loyal person in reality
he can play Scrabble on his iPad the whole day, and is very focused on improving his score
he is always very concerned with the details of how planned events will unfold
he has a certain level of physical clumsiness, or, more accurately, a lack of finesse when it comes to touch and other people - things like patting babies just a little too hard, when he means to be gentle

As I learn more about Asperger's, lightbulbs are going on in my mind in relation to my husband. Why he reacted a certain way, how he could have said what he said, why he sometimes seems so removed from family life - there is a long list of things that now all make sense.

He has not been professionally evaluated, and I'm pretty sure he has not interest in doing that (he has a strong dislike for visiting any kind of doctor). But the indications are pretty strong, at least in my mind, and I'm inclined to think he's right, especially since he saw himself fitting the pattern so readily. I think it is almost a relief for both of us because it gives us both a better understanding of his past, our past together, and our ongoing relationship.